Heartbreak.
I can’t even explain it. I can’t sleep. Part of me is ripped right from me. I see your face in my head but I can’t even feel that sharp pain in my chest anymore. I’m numb from the inside out. I remember your smile and I feel my stomach turn inside out, the blood pumping through my veins just stops and for a minute, I cant breath. All the memories flash, one right after the other from the beginning to the end. It’s such an uncomfortable feeling. It hurts, but I can’t feel it. That’s the best I can do to explain it.
You see this baby? Yeah, I raised him. Since he was three days old. My mom adopted him, but she never took care of him. This baby was pretty much mine. About 5 months ago, my stepdad left and took baby Eli with him. Today was the first day I have seen him since. He’s already crawling, sitting, and standing up on his own. I missed all of that. He’s stolen my heart. I could call this baby my own. He called me momma today. I cried. He just left and I had to say good bye again. Who knows when I’ll ever see him again. I know for a fact that if there’s anyone I could love enough to even compare to my baby boy, I’d know for sure I’m in love.
